LONDON—The Nobel Committee gave the prize to President Obama less than a year after his election “for his extraordinary dissimilarity to former us “president” G.W. Bush.”
The Nobel Committee went on to state, “Obama’s name is in no way related to foliage. He is at least 50% not the same race as America’s former special-needs dictator. He’s genuinely affable. In his many speeches to date he has not accused any other nation of being in league with any type of Dark Lord, or forced his staffers to make up terrifying stories at the United Nations. His daughters have not as of yet engaged in drunken antics. His wife has never run anyone over with a car. His family has no history of profitteering from trade with Nazi Germany.”
The award came as a huge surprise to those unaware that G.W. Bush was no longer president, and to those perched on rooftops awaiting the rapture. Anti-peace scholars at The American Enterprise Institute were highly critical of a standing US President receiving a so-called “peace prize.”
“How will we maintain the credible threat of unilateral wars based on faulty intelligence?” asked a visibily agitated John Bolton, former US ambassador’ to the so-called ‘United Nations. “Sure, peace is a fine thing—in principle. But in the real world, War is far more practical, and less of a pain in the ass.”
In a rare addendum, the Nobel Comittee appended a coupon good for two additional Nobel prizes, in the color of Obama’s choice, if any of his administrations actions leads to a peaceful outcome anywhere in the world.
One Nobel official hastened to add that this coupon was not ironic. “Really, just not being Bush is enough for this one.”
{ 1 trackback }
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I shared this article on Facebook and some of my friends then shared it with their friends. People both like it and find the picture “creepy.”